Imagine this. You’re babysitting two kids. Hell, maybe it’s your own kids.
And they’re running around shoving each other and doing usual obnoxious kid things.
You run into the room, and the super sacred $5 billion dollar vase that Grandma made with her bare hands during the holocaust was knocked off a table and broke into a thousand pieces.
What happens?
Hey everyone, let’s play the blame game.
The two kids immediately point to each other and blame the other.
They present their cases.
They start whining and cutting each other off.
Now, let’s say one of them seems to have a more likely story.
Let’s say one of them is a little violent shithead and you have a hunch that it’s probably his fault anyway.
What do you do?
Nothing. You either punish them both, or do nothing.
None of this changes the fact that both of them were running around and being reckless around nice, precious objects.
None of this changes the fact that theoretically, both were behaving negligently enough to cause destruction.
It also doesn’t change the fact that the vase is broken and is never coming back.
One could even argue that it’s your fault for putting such a valuable item in a vulnerable place around kids (idiot).
We spend a lot of our time and effort looking for whose fault something is, even
when it doesn’t matter.
You order a cod at a nice restaurant that is undercooked and sucks.
You want to blame the chef so you call the manager over and go on a tirade.
But who knows, maybe the cod was poorly prepared by the sous chef, or the manager himself didn’t store the cod correctly the night before.
Or maybe they tried buying from a shitty supplier.
Or maybe there’s a poor system of communication in the restaurant and so misunderstandings are prevalent and this affects how the food is prepared.
But no, the chef sucks, fu..k him. Fire him.
As humans, we all enjoy a scapegoat; we need a scapegoat.
You see this most often with government.
An entire bureaucratic system may be fucked up, causing continuous waste and inefficiency.
So what happens?
A few people get blamed and fired and the system continues.
The public is satisfied.
Someone is blamed and punished, so everything must be right again? Wrong.
There are times when it’s important to know whose fault it is.
Like when engaging in chemical warfare.
Or finding out who pissed on the toilet seat.
But in most of the cases of our lives, it’s an inconsequential distraction.
What’s done is done.
Accept it and move on.
2. Waiting in line for 36 hours to buy some new product the day it’s released
Seriously, don’t you have something better to do? And if not, isn’t that a problem?
3. Being Right
There’s an old saying, “The man who knows everything learns nothing.”
This one is really simple.
How do you learn and improve and become a better person?
That’s right, by being wrong about stuff. So try to be wrong about stuff a little more often.
Besides, nothing’s more annoying than somebody who will argue to the death over some inane detail that doesn’t matter anyway. I like to punch those people.
(OK, I don’t really, but it sounded cool to write that. Don’t forget to share this article on
Facebook and tell all your friends how this one dude punches people who annoy him and how awesome that is.)
4. Hiding Your Flaws
People fall in love with each other’s rough edges.
The more we’re willing to reveal where we come up short, the more
intimacy and connection we’ll generate in our personal lives, and the happier and healthier we’ll be in the long run.
I’ve written at length on vulnerability, and a few years ago I based an
entire book on the idea.
But it really is amazing how our culture encourages more and more to live up to
some impossible ideal, some empty vessel of perfection.
Of all people, Mike Tyson recently said, “Just because you’re famous doesn’t mean you’re successful.”
You could replace “famous” in that sentence with “rich,” “beautiful,” “popular,” “intelligent” or a myriad of other adjectives.
Where does real success come from? It comes from being satisfied — not because you’ve reached some pinnacle or final destination of success — but satisfied with that constant process of improvement.
Because when you appreciate your faults, they lose their power over you.
Instead of your weakness, they become your strength.
And ironically, they’ll draw other people into you more than ever before.
National politics drive profits for the national media markets, therefore they get the airplay.
Since they get the airplay, everyone loses their shit over them.
5. Trying to Impress Other People
If you’ve read this site at all in the last few years, you know how far this doesn’t get you.
Take a moment and think back to the three most embarrassing moments in recent memory.
Let me guess, at least two of them happened while trying to impress someone. Funny how that works.
Trying to impress other people is a natural human trait. We all want to put our best foot forward.
The reason trying to impress people rarely works out very well is because human beings are wired to not simply look at surface-level behaviors when judging another person’s character, but to also
look at their intentions and motivations for each behavior.
So you can do a cool action, but if you’re doing it because you’re insecure and want people to like you, people will see through it and find you annoying. See: Bono from U2.
This is why one-uppers — people who take what you say and then tell you how they’ve done something bigger or better than that — are so annoying. They’re trying to impress us, to dominate us, to show superiority over us. And the fact that they’re trying to be superior proves to us that they’re not.
6. Being Offended
There are some people in this world who seem to believe that they have the right to never be offended, ever.
This drives me crazy.
Part of freedom of expression is that some people, sometimes, are going to annoy you or offend you.
That’s part of life. And unless you’re inciting people to commit acts of violence, then you really can’t tell them not to.
Being offended is a choice. It’s the difference between getting upset about an insult and simply laughing it off.
It’s the difference between trying to silence somebody else and simply acknowledging that they
have different values than you do, even if those values are really fucked up.
I get comments on this blog all the time that I find offensive. I almost never delete them. Recently, I had a guy who made a sexist comment about women (the comment was to an article about dating, what a coincidence.) Instead of getting up in arms about it, I simply informed him that I thought he was an idiot.
I probably offended him back. And now we’re not friends. It’s amazing how a free society works.
7. Buying a Bunch of “Nice” Stuff
I’ll spare you the Fight Club spiel. I’ve already written at length about how
owning more possessions can limit your
identity and
happiness, and how wealth is determined by the quality of your experiences and
not your assets.
But let’s look at this from a more practical point of view. What’s the point of buying a bunch of nice crap?
1) To impress other people.
2) To feel better about yourself.
We’ve already covered how well impressing people goes over (Spoiler Alert: not well).
Not to mention, you’re also concurrently inspiring jealousy from other people, which just turns nice people into assholes.
And then you might get offended! So that’s no good.
But let’s look at feeling better about yourself. There’s mounds of
psychological research showing that materialism leads to greater rates of depression and
less happiness in people. There’s a reason
the US has some of the highest rates of depression and anxiety disorders in the developed world.
That dependence on external validation to feel good about yourself causes low self-esteem and
makes you miserable. So let’s just leave it at that.
Sure, buying luxury items can be cool and enjoyable. If you’ve got the money to throw around, there’s nothing wrong with it.
But basing your identity and self-worth on the quality of your possessions and how those possessions stack up to others is a losing battle.
Even if you win and have the biggest toys, you lose.
8. Celebrity and Sports Gossip
These people directly affect your life in absolutely no way whatsoever.
Your obsession and investment in them is worse than harmless entertainment, it is a way to live vicariously through the idealizations of who you wish you could be — if only you weren’t so afraid to
get off the couch and actually do something.
Yeah, there, I said it.
Or as Lil’ Wayne once said, when asked if he was concerned that people may look to him on how to live:
“If you need a rapper to tell you how to live your life, then maybe you ain’t got no life.”
9. Sexual Jealousy
A lot of people get jealous and possessive in relationships.
They don’t like their partner talking with someone else, or hanging out with members of the opposite sex without them. Some people get even crazier. They get jealous of things that happened before they met their partner.
They get jealous of things that might happen in the future. Hell, they get jealous of things that didn’t happen but could have happened.
Sexual jealousy is a waste of energy and
toxic for your relationship.
It’s really simple: either you trust your partner or you don’t.
If you trust your partner, then shut your mouth. If you don’t trust your partner, do everyone a favor and
dump them.
“Well, what if I trust them but they lie to me anyway?”
Then trust that one day you will find out. Dishonest people cannot hide their dishonesty forever.
Eventually, it will surface and be obvious. And on that day, dump them.
The worst part of sexual jealousy is that it drives your partner to commit the exact actions in which you’re trying to prevent them from doing in the first place. Imagine you’re dating somebody and this person is insanely jealous. Everything you do they accuse you of lying to them or sneaking around behind their back.
Every person of the opposite sex you speak to they accuse you of flirting or freak out that you’re sleeping with 10 other people.
What’s stopping you from
actually cheating then? I mean, you’re going to get yelled at whether you’re honest or not. Apparently, they believe you’re a dishonest person anyway, so you may as well get the benefits from being dishonest, right? What’s stopping you from cheating? Not much.
10. National Politics
Pop quiz: name your town’s mayor and one representative to the state legislature.
No? Then please shut up about Bush and/or Obama.
Our lives are more directly affected by the results of local politics, yet nobody cares except old people,
religious nuts, and conspiracy theorists.
Instead, we all want to focus on the big stage.
In the US, there’s particular weight and importance placed on the US President, someone who ultimately wields less power than Congress, the Federal Reserve, or in some cases, the Supreme Court.
But the president is an easily consumable personality.
He’s easy to argue about and to blame for everything (see #1), when really, the fucked up roads by your house, the poor medical funding, the zoning laws that are screwing up your neighborhood, the
education crisis and the disaster relief are all city and state issues that you’re all but ignoring.
11. Sheep Society
or just watch video below
What are the characteristics of a sheep?
Sheep also have behavioral characteristics that set them apart from goats.
- Appearance. Sheep have a thicker, fuller coat that needs to be sheared and is the source of wool. ...
- Behavior. Sheep are most comfortable with their flock, and they tend to run if approached or spooked. ...
- Reproduction. ...
- Terminology.
Dumbing down is the deliberate oversimplification of intellectual content in education, literature, and cinema, news, video games and culture.
After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes." This is one of the most memorable scenes from the first Matrix movie.
What is stupid?
People's conception of unintelligent behavior
This paper argues that studying why and when people call certain actions stupid should be the interest of psychological investigations
not just because it is a frequent everyday behavior, but also because it is a robust behavioral reflection of the rationalistic expectations
to which people adjust their own behavior and expect others to.
The relationship of intelligence and intelligent behavior has been the topic of recent debates, yet understanding why we call certain actions stupid irrespective of their cognitive abilities requires the understanding of what people mean when they call an action stupid.
To study these questions empirically, we analyzed real-life examples where people called an action stupid.
A collection of such stories was categorized by raters along a list of psychological concepts to explore what the causes are that people attribute to the stupid actions observed.
We found that people use the label stupid for three separate types of situation:
- (1) violations of maintaining a balance between confidence and abilities;
- (2) failures of attention; and
- (3) lack of control.
The level of observed stupidity was always amplified by higher responsibility being attributed to the actor and by the severity of the consequences of the action. These results bring us closer to understanding people's conception of unintelligent behavior while emphasizing the broader psychological perspectives of studying the attribute of stupid in everyday life.
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